Pitbull
by Panic-for-Bucky-Barnes
Summary: Natasha finds a Pit Bull on a mission with Clint. When she starts to talk to it, an old friend reveals himself and the conversation gets wilder. AU; sequel to Red Romance.
1. Natasha's POV

Pit bull; Natasha's View

"Alright Clint, find yourself a perch to snipe from- don't get distracted this time," I say to Clint.

"Sure, thing Nat," He says to me before he runs off into the darkness. I head inside the hideout, it took both of us months to find these guys who are LOADED. Rumor has it they use one-hundred-dollar bills as tissues when the sneeze. They mainly get their fortune from selling illegal animals and selling dogs who aren't worth as much as they price them. SHEILD, along with other organizations, have been after these guys for a long time, and I wasn't ready to let them slip away from me.

I discreetly enter the building, sneaking behind guards in their shadows where they least expect it. I'm outside the room we want when Clint starts talking on coms.

"Hey Nat, I'm in position. Guys here are bargaining a pit bull- looks like a runt, and is he? Yea he is. Wow, dog's missn a..." I clear my throat and Clint stops talking.

"Can we focus please?" I whisper into the coms.

"Fine," Clint responds.

"Count of three, all hell breaks loose, kay?" I say. Clint starts the countdown.

"Three," He says.

"Two," I add, coiling like a snake, ready to strike.

"One!" We both shout. The room erupted into gunfire, men falling fast. Out of the corner of my eye I see a sniper from in the rafters, shooting along with us.

"Clint! Did you invite anyone?" I say into the coms.

"No, why?" He responds. I manage to hold off the guards long enough to get a closer look. I see a glint of metal. I narrow my eyes, but a guard tackles me.

"Clint! Distract them outside!" I yell.

"Gotcha Nat," he responds. I find a hiding place and squat there for a bit, before I hear the exclaims of a fire on the outside of the building. Not what I had in mind for a diversion, but it will work. I emerge from my hiding spot and look at the damage. A few people here and there were on the ground, truly dead. I hear a whimper from the corner of the room and turn to the corner with my gun ready. I see a little puppy pit bull, cowering in the corner. I lower my gun for it and squat down to his level.

"Hey little guy! I won't hurt ya," I tell him in Russian. The pit bull starts to slowly walk towards me, and I realize why Clint was so engrossed in him. The poor guy was missing his left arm, nothing there. It almost reminded me of someone...

"You remind me of a friend," I tell him, as I sit down next the puppy. The dog lays his head in my lap and looks up, as if he wants to know more.

"You need a name," I tell him. "How about... Bucky?" I suggest. The dog looks to the rafters and growls. A figure drops down from the rafters.

"Natalia?" He asks. This is the exact opposite of who I wanted to run into today. It would have been nice to see Tony or Steve, who might have decided to help us last-minute, but not James Buchanan Barnes. The Dog sniffs the air around James and runs up to him, happy.

"Oh hey doggy!" He says. James starts to pet the dog, putting down his guns and sitting on the floor. An awkward silence comes between us.

"So... how have you been?" He asks finally.

"I'm better now, I still have a scar..." he looks up at me with worry, "Oh! No, James it's not your fault! Don't beat yourself up about it," I tell him.

"Hey Nat? Could you maybe speak English on the coms?" Clint asks. I turn away from James.

"Sorry, I ran into an old colleague... he umm... umm," that's as far as I get.

"Which one?" Clint asks. I turn back to James and I realize he can understand everything I say to Clint. I turn red with embarrassment.

"Hold on one moment Clint," I tell him.

"I didn't know you understood English," I tell James. He nods.

"Born and raised in Brooklyn," he responds.

"I'm back Clint," I say.

"Oh good, so while you were gone I researched some guys... let's see is it Klaus? Or Ringo? Or Harry?" He stops there.

"God Damnit Clint! Don't try to figure out who he is! Trust me, it's better if you didn't know," James looks at me with confusion.

"What the hell are you talking about Natalia? It's just you and me!" he exclaims. I do a total facepalm.

"Look, James, I'm on a COMM system right now with another person..."

"The Winter Soldier!" Clint yells in my ear.

"Damnit Clint! You're dead when I find you!" I exclaim.

"Oh and she means it too," James adds. I laugh a little at his joke.

"So your friend knows?" he asks. I slowly nod my head.

"But only the shadow part..." I stop, realizing I could be talking with the shadow and not with James. James recognizes my dilemma and shakes his head, scooting closer to me.

"It's truly me Natalia, I won't hurt you," he says sadly. This is what a strong romance has come to? Reassurance from one another that we aren't brainwashed to kill? Like all those years ago I realize how dangerous our game of Love was.

"James, why did you leave?" I finally get the big cat out of the bag, I wanted to know why he abandoned me for Hydra. James swallows, then puts his head in his hands. A moment later I realize he was crying, the last time I say him cry was when...

"They forced me to become even more of a monster than I was," his shoulders shake as he continues to cry. I lift his chin, so he can see my eyes. Like many years ago, his glacier-blue pierce my tropical ocean, freezing a part of it as if I was engulfed in his Tundra. I lean closer to kiss him, all the while he leans closer to me. Just before we kiss, Clint busts into the room.

"Holy F**king God Natasha!" James is up with his gun poised at Clint, James pushes me behind him for protection.

"James! Put the gun down! He's the guy I was talking to on the coms," James looks back at me.

"Hope you're telling him to put the gun down?" Clint suggests. James, instead, pokes the air where Clint stands.

"James," I say, reaching my hand out and lowering the gun for him. He smashes the stock against my hand and his metal one. I snatch my hand back and scream out in pain. James turns to me, looking horrified by what he did.

"Clint no!" James turns to Clint to see that he is ready with his bow and arrow, aiming directly at James. I run between the two.

"Guys! We can settle this out! Put you weapon down Clint, he won't hurt you!" I exclaim.

"Nat are you insane? He gave you that scar on your stomach- I don't see why you are protecting him! SHEILD has been after the Winter Soldier for years! We need to turn him in!" Clint tells me. James flinches when Clint mentions my scar, and flinches a second time when he says, "the Winter Soldier."

"I'm not the Winter Soldier, and for your information buddy, I protected her from the death penalty in Russia!" James tells Clint. It was the first time I heard James speak in English, and I was intrigued.

"Oh, so if you're not the Winter Soldier, then what's THAT?" Clint asks, motioning to James' arm.

"Clint he's not the Winter Soldier," I say flatly.

"Then who is he?" Clint asks.

I turn to James and he gestures for me to come to him, I walk towards him and lean he starts to whisper.

"Will any of this be reported to Steve Rogers?" He asks. I look back at Clint and then at James.

"Yes," I whisper back.

"Give him a fake name, like Jim Morita," he tells me. I turn back to Clint and tell him who James "is."

"That's Jim Morita," I tell Clint. Clint raises his eyebrow.

"A Howling Commando?" He asks. I turn back to James and he slowly nods.

"Yes..." I respond.

"Jim Morita's been dead for years," Clint tells me flatly. "Nat face facts! That's the Winter Soldier- SHEILD needs his identity," Clint says.

"I can't tell you who I am- Steve Rogers will flip," James tells Clint.

"I'd like to see that," Clint says.

"Ugh cut it out boys! Clint our mission is finished, start heading back," I tell Clint.

"What about you and Mr. Super-Assassin?" Clint asks.

"I'll catch up," I reassure him. Clint shakes his head and walks out of the room.

Before Clint has reached the door, he turns around to look at James.

"If you hurt her, I will personally hunt you down and kill," he tells James. James turns white as Clint leaves. Finally, Clint is gone, and this time I remove my coms.

"I'm sorry about that James," I tell him. James shakes his head.

"It's ok Natalia... you're bleeding," I look down at my hand as it drips blood on the floor.

"I knew this would happen if we saw each other again, I'm still a monster," James says.

"James, it's ok, you were protecting me, you're not a monster," I tell him.

"You need a hospital," James says. "I know one close by here, please check in there and get your hand looked at- for me. I couldn't live with myself if it didn't get fixed and got worse," he tells me.

"Will you be my escort?" I ask him. James looks like he really wants to walk me to the Hospital to make sure I'm OK.

"I don't want to hurt you again..." he responds. I swiftly come up to him and embrace, he stands there startled, then slowly closes his eyes, I can feel it. We pull away panting.

"Clint's waiting for me," I tell him. James nods.

"I love you Natalia," he says. I smile a little bit.

"That's good, so do I," I tell him. We embrace one more time.

"James, why didn't you want Steve Roger to know who you are?" I ask him finally.

"We've had our fair share of memories with each other in the past... I couldn't bear to have him recognize me like this," James says.

"Then I won't tell him," I say to James.

James looks at the pit bull.

"Would you like to come home with me or Natalia? I think you should go with Natalia," he says to the pit bull.

"He needs a name," I tell James.

"How about Howling?" James suggests.

"Nah- looks like a James Jr." I say playfully. James lightly punches me in the arm.

"Lets go with..."

"Commander?" I suggest.

"Yea, Commander. That's perfect," James says. I pick up Commander and start to walk out of the room. I turn to face James.

"Goodbye James," I say.

"Goodbye Natalia," he says.


	2. Bucky's POV

Pit Bull; Bucky's View

I was told to protect the Hydra officials who were making a deal with the animal breeders. They didn't tell me why, but I could assume. They were out of test subjects, I was perfectly functional, and I haven't malfunctioned since... I'm not gonna talk about it.

I had to be positioned in the rafters, it's was where I could see the officers clearly and shoot any incomers. I was just waiting for anything to happen, in the rafters. The curious asshole I am, I look around the rafters- maybe a bird nest was nestled into the metal landscape, wouldn't be the first time I've seen something like it. Instead I spot another person. My eyes go wide as I stay perfectly still. He was whispering to no one, until he said three, I realized what was going on.

A woman bursts into the room and all hell breaks loose. Her red hair flashes around death, the men falling with her touch. I start shooting for Hydra, shooting at her. I stop and realize who she is. Natalia. I start shooting at the Hydra officials, taking them out one by one. She stops to stare at me. Her lips start moving as I realize she was talking to the guy in the rafters next to me. I shift my weight and my arm glints in the light; rookie mistake right there. A guard tackles her, and she disappears from my sight. I stop shooting and start to listen to the guy next to me.

"Gotcha Nat," He says. Then the guy expertly swings off and the room of people empty, because of a fire. Soon, Natalia emerges from her hiding spot. The pit bull in the corner finds her friendly and starts to walk towed her. I realize why Hydra wants it. The dog was like me- it was missing it's left front leg and hobbled around slowly. Natalia starts to speak with him in Russian.

"" the pit bull comes toward her and she sits down next to him.

"" she says to the pit bull. I know who she was talking about- me. It was unsettling almost. The dog puts his head in her lap and looks at her.

"" she says. "" she suggests. The dog stares straight up at me and growls. I take that as my cue and jump down from the rafters, much to Natalia's surprise.

"Natalia?" I say to her. The dog happily gets up and trots over to me. I like dogs, and if I wasn't a known assassin, I'd have one.

"" I say. I set down my gun and start to pet him. I sit down parallel from Natalia. Just like one times, an awkward silence comes between us, this time I don't stare at her shoes, instead I stare at the dog.

"" I ask finally.

"I'm better now... I still have the scar," she says. That worries me a lot. I hurt Natalia, and she still has the proof. I could do it again too; I was such an idiot to reveal myself to her, I can't control my shadow. I'm afraid I'll flip- James Buchanan Barnes will be the Winter Soldier's shadow, instead of me being me. I'm crowded, stuck between two people who hate what the other does. I hate myself, and I have a reason to.

"Oh! No James, it's not your fault. Don't beat yourself up about it," she tells me. Her face changes as if she was talking with someone else. Natalia starts to speak in English, which is something I've never heard she speak.

"Sorry, I ran into an old colleague... he umm... umm," she stops there. "Hold on one moment Clint," she says to no one.

" _"_ _she tells me._

"" I respond.

"I'm back Clint," she says to no one again. A long silence after that and then she erupts.

"God damnit Clint! Don't try to figure out who he is! Trust me, it's better if you don't know!"

Now I'm even more confused. Natalia isn't speaking to me, we never speak in English with each other.

"" I say to her. She does a total facepalm before she explains.

"Look, James, I'm on a COMM system with another person right now..." she tries to explain. COMM system? I have no idea what in the wide world what a COMM system is.

"Damnit Clint! You're dead when I find you!" She yells (I'm guessing into the coms)

"" I say. Natalia laughs a little bit, which is a good sign.

"" I ask her. She slowly nods her head, ashamed.

"" she starts. I know what she is thinking, she could be talking to the shadow part of me and not the James part of me. I don't know where one begins and the other ends. It's horrible to not trust one another like this, we are supposed to love each other. I don't even know my bad side, and my bad side is the most dangerous part of me- it's the part I hate.

"It's truly me Natalia, I won't hurt you," I tell her. She almost sighs in relief.

"James, why did you leave?" she asks. The room gets heavy, it hurts me to tell her. I can't tell her how much of a monster I am, it's not OK. She shouldn't be worried about what they do to me- I hurt her! The only thing she should feel for me is anger and hurt; it's what I deserve.

I put my head in my hands, how am I supposed to tell her? The first response I think of blurts out.

"" I sob. I feel my shoulders shake with my sobs. I can't let her see me like this; she is the strongest person I've ever met, and all I am is a mess of whatever those Hydra people put in me. She scoots closer and pulls my head up to look at her. Like all those years ago, her tropical ocean eyes wash away the glacier in mine; it feels good, the warmth of her ocean, it gives me hope. We lean closer to each other and are close to embracing. Someone breaks down the door.

"Holy F**king god Natasha!" I'm up on my feet, pushing Natalia behind me and my gun poised at the man. It was the same guy from the rafters, I didn't like him one bit.

"James! Put the gun down! That's the guy I was talking with on the coms," Natalia says to me. I look back at her to be sure she was OK. I didn't know this man but if he was anything like the Russian scientists or the guards, it could spell trouble. We could wind up like last time, except I could kill Natalia this time.

"Hope you're telling him to put the gun down?" The man suggests. Instead, I poke the air where he stands, hoping to intimidate him. It doesn't work.

"" Natalia reaches her hand to my gun and lowers it for me. The next thing I do haunts me. The Winter Soldier was here, not me. I didn't smash her hand against my arm with the gun, but I did. She pulls her hand back and screams out in pain. I hurt her. I hurt her like last time. I can't be around people- I will hurt them. The Winter Soldier still exists in me- he lives in my shadows and controls me like a puppet. I'm controlled by strings and wire through my own shadow, my shadow that I hate. I'm a puppet meant to kill- not to love. I'll never learn my lesson, so the Winter Soldier teaches me against my will. Hurt and pain is all he knows; love and compassion are all I accept.

"Clint no!" Natalia cries. I turn back around to look at the man at the door. He has a bow and arrow pointed at me, ready to strike. Natalia runs between us and puts her arms out between us.

"Guys! We can settle this out! Put your weapon down Clint, he won't hurt you," Natalia says to both of us.

"Nat are you insane? He gave you that scar on your stomach- I don't see why you are protecting him! SHELID has been after the Winter Soldier for years! We have to turn him in!" The man says. I flinch when he mentions Natalia's scar and I flinch again when he mentions "The Winter Soldier." I need to think of a retort and fast.

"I'm not the Winter Soldier, and for your information buddy, protected her from the death penalty in Russia," I tell him. It was the first time Natalia heard me speak English, she looks interested.

"Oh, so if you aren't the Winter Soldier, then what's THAT," the man says, motioning to my arm. I need to keep my cool. I can't kill anyone- then I will truly be the Winter Soldier. I need to keep him inside...

"Clint, he's not the Winter Soldier," Natalia reassures him.

"Then who is he?" The man asks. Natalia stares at me for help, and I motion for her to come closer. I whisper my question into her ear.

"Will any of this be reported to Steve Rogers?" I ask her. Natalia thinks about it for a moment then she responds.

"Yes," she finally answers. Steve can't know who Natalia ran into on a mission, Steve can't see or hear about me like this. I'll be hunted down... Hydra will punish me severely for exposing my identity. I have to give them a fake name.

"Give him a fake name, like Jim Morita," I tell her. Natalia turns back to the man at the door.

"That's Jim Morita," she tells him.

"A Howling Commando?" The man scoffs. Natalia turns to me and I slowly nod, hoping he hasn't figured it out.

"Yes..." Natalia tells him.

"Jim Morita's been dead for years," he responds. I lower my head, I know he's been dead for years- I killed him. They made me kill him to see how far the brainwashing could take me. "Nat face facts! That's the Winter Soldier! SHELID needs his identity," The man says.

"I can't tell you who I am- Steve Rogers will flip," I growl.

"I'd like to see that," the man says.

"Ugh cut it out boys! Clint, our mission is finished, start heading back," Natalia tells the man at the door.

"What about you and Mr. Super-Assassin?" The man says. I scowl at him and bear my teeth.

"I'll catch up," Natalia tells him. Just before the man is out the door, he stops and turns to me.

"If you hurt her, I will personally hunt you down and kill," He threads. I can feel the blood drain from my face. The man leaves, and Natalia and I are alone. She removes her coms and puts them in her pocket.

"I'm sorry about that, James," she tells me. I shake my head.

"It's ok Natalia," I look down at her hand and feel automatic guilt. "You're bleeding," I tell her. Natalia looks down at her hand at the blood dripping on the floor.

" _"_ _I say._

"" she tells me. I know I would believe her, but I don't. I am a true monster to do something like that, it was wrong to be OK with it.

"" I tell her, " _" I tell her._

"" Natalia asks. I do want to escort her there. She's Natalia Romanova, in a weak moment asking for someone to help, which is rare for her. I wanted to so badly come with, it hurt. But I could hurt her if I get out of control.

" _"_ _I tell her. Natalia's face falls. It's better I guess, I would take a bullet for her, but I can't take a bullet if I'm the one pulling the trigger. She is there, on me like old times. We embrace, starting me. I close my eyes and enjoy the moment, we pull away panting._

"Clint's waiting for me," she says, I nod my head. I understand.

" _"_ _I tell her, she smiles a little bit._

"That's good, so do I," she responds before we embrace again.

"James, why don't you want Steve Rogers to know who you are?" she asks me. I try to make this a moment that I can shake off, something that I can loo at from the future and say it was unimportant, meaningless. Then again if it was like that, I would not remember that memory.

"We've had our fair share of memories with each other in the past... I couldn't bear to have him recognize me like this," I tell her.

"" she responds. I look down at the pit bull.

"" I tell the dog.

"" Natalia tells me.

"" I suggest. He could be the newest Howling Commando, the puppy Howling helping Steve Rogers fight for freedom with his new bionic arm. A good replacement for me. Natalia wouldn't miss me, then I wouldn't have a chance to hurt her.

"" Natalia jokes. I punch her as light as I can on one arm.

"Let's go with..."

"Commander?" Natalia asks.

"Yea, Commander. That's perfect," I say. Natalia lifts Commander off the floor and starts to leave, dog in arms. She turns to me when she reaches the door.

"" she says. This really is Goodbye. Chances are I'll never see her again, and even if I do, I'll be forced to watch her die, prisoner within my own shadow, watching my bad side take my place and live my life. My bad side owes me a lot, whether that's in memories or in pain or in the time I missed to live my life, the Winter Soldier owes me. The Winter Soldier will never pay me back, he can't- he doesn't have anything to pay me back with. I hate goodbyes because I know I will see them again, and always when I'm not myself, I always see them when I'm prisoner in my own mind. I don't want to say goodbye to Natalia, but I can't follow her. This is Goodbye; or as Steve would say it's the end of the line.

"Goodbye Natalia," I say. And she was gone.


End file.
